While I am so anxious to be home, I cannot believe that I am leaving this place. I am exhausted in every way possible, but I have learned so much. This place is challenging and will push you to your limit. But most importantly, it brings you to humility and an understanding that we can only- and should only- serve by the Lord's strength alone. We are absolutely nothing without Him. There is a joy only found in Christ that I was reminded of time and time again while I was here. Today especially.
So we decided to be a little rebellious today and go against the rules. I mean, technically we were never told we could not do this. Today, we took a walk, with a local, through the slum of Kibera, the largest slum in the world. Of course, when you think of slum, you think of dying sick people on the side of the road; everyone looking so depressed and hungry; dark clouds and just a generally bad atmosphere. What we saw today was quite different. While there is trash everywhere and lots of people in a small space, life still goes on. The place was bursting with life and energy. People were laughing, people were in deep conversation. Children were learning in school. People were cleaning their businesses. Life still remains. I was only there for about an hour, and it was one of the most rewarding experiences I have had here. Yes, it was difficult to see some things, but definately not what I expected it to be.
Today was also our last day at the BCC. I spent most of the day in town with some people buying a new computer and books for the new school they are opening. When I returned, we went to the sewing class to say goodbye to the girls. They were all so sad and emotional that we were leaving. It was hard to say goodbye to them. They have such sweet spirits and truly care. So many people have given us such genuine words as we have said goodbye to them. They are not afraid to hide their affections. Half of them told me that they love me.
It was also hard to say goodbye to the children. Most of them do not really understand and or do not show emotion. One boy I just fell in the love with on the trip didn't really react when I said bye to him. His name is Josiah. He is probably 7 or 8. He always acts like such an adult and has a great sense of humor. I found him a few times waiting on me to walk with him to lunch. Quite a stud, let me tell you.
I want so badly to promise all of these people that I will come back. I do not know if I will. I just sincerely pray that the only impression I have left is the impression of Christ. I can't ever save them from this world, but my prayer is they meet a Savior who can. Hopefully I will see most of you soon!
peace and love.
p.s. here is a good quote from Bono that really sums up my day:
""God is in the slums, in the cardboard boxes where the poor play house. God is in the silence of a mother who has infected her child with a virus that will end both of their lives. God is in the cries heard under the rubble of war. God is in the debris of wasted oppurtunity and lives, and God is with us if we are with them."
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
girl got a weave
yep, that's right. I got my first weave today. We went to the school in the Korogocho slum again and I spent the day with the girls in the beauty school. The braided my hair into a weave. I really enjoyed it. I am not sure how long I will keep it in. But I definately have pictures.
Today started out pretty lousy, where I was back and forth on staying behind for the day. I continue to ask for your prayers for my health. When I wake up in the mornings I just feel really bad and I have been dealing with some severe sinus stuff. It gets frustrating because I do not want to end the trip like this. When you feel bad, you just want to be home and I do not want to be longing for home the last week. And I mean longing in a way that is too much. But I decided to fight it today and actually had a really good day. I really enjoyed talking with the girls in the beauty school. It was a good refresher.
While I am so ready to be home, I cannot believe I have been here a month. My teammate Melissa put it very well today. I feel that I am done with this trip, but I am not done with Africa. I have a feeling that this is just the beginning. While this is an extremely hard place to be, there is an indescribable joy here. It is not a happy kind of joy. But a deeper joy that can only be felt when you are this close to the poor. While the problems have so many layers and they can just swallow you, the little bit of good still overcomes. God is moving in this place. And when God moves, who ever said it is always pleasant and comfortable. I think we are afraid of that at times. We do want our world tossed upside down. So while this place doesn't make sense, there is sense happening.
One other thing that I have been thinking about alot the past fews days is how we can speak the truth of Jesus without tying the western culture to it. It is alot more difficult than it sounds. I came over thinking that I am not a true 100% patriotic American. I thought I could shed that skin in seconds. But I was born in America. The culture is apart of me. So when I tell someone about Jesus, there an example of a Christian is an American Christian. I wish so badly that it wasn't, but it is. So this is when I have to rely on the Holy Spirit. He works in peoples lives and He is the one who sifts through the rights and wrongs of culture. But now, I feel it is our responsibility to try to understand people different than ourselves. Understand that Christianity is not an American thing. It is a world thing. It is the Scripture in raw that I will return to. Not the constitution. When Jesus said go and make disciples, our model of that is first understanding and loving, then sharing our hope for eternity. Make disciplines...that is more than just talking.
So, again, that you all for your encouraging notes and prayers! I look forward to seeing everyone. I might blog again one more time before I leave.
peace and love.
Today started out pretty lousy, where I was back and forth on staying behind for the day. I continue to ask for your prayers for my health. When I wake up in the mornings I just feel really bad and I have been dealing with some severe sinus stuff. It gets frustrating because I do not want to end the trip like this. When you feel bad, you just want to be home and I do not want to be longing for home the last week. And I mean longing in a way that is too much. But I decided to fight it today and actually had a really good day. I really enjoyed talking with the girls in the beauty school. It was a good refresher.
While I am so ready to be home, I cannot believe I have been here a month. My teammate Melissa put it very well today. I feel that I am done with this trip, but I am not done with Africa. I have a feeling that this is just the beginning. While this is an extremely hard place to be, there is an indescribable joy here. It is not a happy kind of joy. But a deeper joy that can only be felt when you are this close to the poor. While the problems have so many layers and they can just swallow you, the little bit of good still overcomes. God is moving in this place. And when God moves, who ever said it is always pleasant and comfortable. I think we are afraid of that at times. We do want our world tossed upside down. So while this place doesn't make sense, there is sense happening.
One other thing that I have been thinking about alot the past fews days is how we can speak the truth of Jesus without tying the western culture to it. It is alot more difficult than it sounds. I came over thinking that I am not a true 100% patriotic American. I thought I could shed that skin in seconds. But I was born in America. The culture is apart of me. So when I tell someone about Jesus, there an example of a Christian is an American Christian. I wish so badly that it wasn't, but it is. So this is when I have to rely on the Holy Spirit. He works in peoples lives and He is the one who sifts through the rights and wrongs of culture. But now, I feel it is our responsibility to try to understand people different than ourselves. Understand that Christianity is not an American thing. It is a world thing. It is the Scripture in raw that I will return to. Not the constitution. When Jesus said go and make disciples, our model of that is first understanding and loving, then sharing our hope for eternity. Make disciplines...that is more than just talking.
So, again, that you all for your encouraging notes and prayers! I look forward to seeing everyone. I might blog again one more time before I leave.
peace and love.
Friday, June 22, 2007
jesus, sufjan, movies and more
So I went through the phase where I really did not feel much emotion expect for being overwhelmed. Well, now I am still overwhelmed, but feeling all sorts of emotion. I am probably going to blab about alot of stuff, but I need to get it all out.
I came with the confident, a little to prideful, attitude that I definately need to be in Africa. I was dying to get there. Well, thats not quite what I am dying and longing for. What I am dying and longing for is eternity. Scripture says so. He has set eternity in my heart. And I have come to the simple realization again that only God can save this world. It is only by His power and strength that the slight progress has happened in Africa. While it is so easy to get caught up in all the horrible problems going on here, God is still moving. But right now, I feel swallowed by the problems. I feel like I am in a room of dying people all crying out for help and I can't save them. And I really can't save them. Only God can. He doesn't need my help. So right now, I feel like I need to back out of the room and ask God which dying person to help first. Thankfully, by the Lord's strength, He has equipped me with one thing. And that is the ability to talk about a saving grace. And give the hope that one day, our Savior will come riding on a white horse to get us. I may never be able to get them about of the slums or heal their wounds or give them money, but if they know Jesus intimately, one day there will be no more slum, no more disease, no more death, no more money as the god of this world, no more hunger, no more strife. So all I can say and pray for and cry out is for Jesus to save them, because I can't.
After I grasp this, I am overwhelmed with how incredibly blessed I am. As I was having my quite time the other morning, I realized it. Yeah, I have always thought I have been blessed. But, really, truly, I am blessed beyond understanding. I look at these people and I am no better than them. Thanks to dear sufjan, he reminded me, that "in my best behavior, i am really just like them." (side note: sufjan is wonderful. pretty much all of his songs relate to jesus and make you think lots and lots) I find myself asking what did I ever do to deserve everything I have. I have a wonderful family, I go to an amazing school, I have wonderful friends, I have money, I have a job, I have a car, I have have have have. And then more than that, I live in a country where the government provides education, health care, protection. I don't have to walk around seeing military and police with ak-47s in their hand with the finger on the trigger like they are going to need to shoot something. I grew up being valued as a youth and told I can reach my dreams instead of going home to not find my parents and wondering around to then only fall in a latrine where I would have died if some hadn't of found me. I have resources where I can research the world and find out the facts for myself instead of being told lie after lie. I have the freedom of being a single woman without assumptions being tossed at me. And then as I sat there, I simple realized that I am blessed to have a bible to read and study, a journal to write down my thoughts and prayers, an iPod to listen to music on, encouraging notes and prayers from people who care about me. I am so blessed with all of this, but does it really matter. Do I really have Jesus?
Serving the Lord is not always doing and going. Its sitting with Him and asking and knowing Him. We do not owe Him any favors. We are not in charge of where we go. He is. So it is deciding to let go of all the stuff and blessing and thank God when they are there and when they are not there. The biggest blessing is that Jesus saved this world and is coming again. He is bigger than the mess we have made. He changes lives. So let take our hands away and let Him do that. Lets be someone who can be navigated and who responds to the hand of God. Lets live eternity starting now.
So all of that to say that I had a very American day. We took the last two days off because I have been sick again and we truly haven't had days of rest while we have been here. So today we went to this shopping center and shopped a little and went to see a movie. I had a latte, ate a hot dog, popcorn, and a snickers, and we saw Ocean’s 13. So it was a fun day and yesterday, we took it pretty easy and rested at the guest house most of the day. I am so anxious to get home because I want to begin to pray and sift through where the Lord wants me. I am just to the point that I have really done what I can do here and I have learned things that I want to start living out. So please pray that I am patient this next week and really am open to what the Lord has in store. I also am so antsy to see the rest of Africa. I have heard so much about other places and want to see and study how these people live. Thanks so much for your love and prayers.
Peace and love.
I came with the confident, a little to prideful, attitude that I definately need to be in Africa. I was dying to get there. Well, thats not quite what I am dying and longing for. What I am dying and longing for is eternity. Scripture says so. He has set eternity in my heart. And I have come to the simple realization again that only God can save this world. It is only by His power and strength that the slight progress has happened in Africa. While it is so easy to get caught up in all the horrible problems going on here, God is still moving. But right now, I feel swallowed by the problems. I feel like I am in a room of dying people all crying out for help and I can't save them. And I really can't save them. Only God can. He doesn't need my help. So right now, I feel like I need to back out of the room and ask God which dying person to help first. Thankfully, by the Lord's strength, He has equipped me with one thing. And that is the ability to talk about a saving grace. And give the hope that one day, our Savior will come riding on a white horse to get us. I may never be able to get them about of the slums or heal their wounds or give them money, but if they know Jesus intimately, one day there will be no more slum, no more disease, no more death, no more money as the god of this world, no more hunger, no more strife. So all I can say and pray for and cry out is for Jesus to save them, because I can't.
After I grasp this, I am overwhelmed with how incredibly blessed I am. As I was having my quite time the other morning, I realized it. Yeah, I have always thought I have been blessed. But, really, truly, I am blessed beyond understanding. I look at these people and I am no better than them. Thanks to dear sufjan, he reminded me, that "in my best behavior, i am really just like them." (side note: sufjan is wonderful. pretty much all of his songs relate to jesus and make you think lots and lots) I find myself asking what did I ever do to deserve everything I have. I have a wonderful family, I go to an amazing school, I have wonderful friends, I have money, I have a job, I have a car, I have have have have. And then more than that, I live in a country where the government provides education, health care, protection. I don't have to walk around seeing military and police with ak-47s in their hand with the finger on the trigger like they are going to need to shoot something. I grew up being valued as a youth and told I can reach my dreams instead of going home to not find my parents and wondering around to then only fall in a latrine where I would have died if some hadn't of found me. I have resources where I can research the world and find out the facts for myself instead of being told lie after lie. I have the freedom of being a single woman without assumptions being tossed at me. And then as I sat there, I simple realized that I am blessed to have a bible to read and study, a journal to write down my thoughts and prayers, an iPod to listen to music on, encouraging notes and prayers from people who care about me. I am so blessed with all of this, but does it really matter. Do I really have Jesus?
Serving the Lord is not always doing and going. Its sitting with Him and asking and knowing Him. We do not owe Him any favors. We are not in charge of where we go. He is. So it is deciding to let go of all the stuff and blessing and thank God when they are there and when they are not there. The biggest blessing is that Jesus saved this world and is coming again. He is bigger than the mess we have made. He changes lives. So let take our hands away and let Him do that. Lets be someone who can be navigated and who responds to the hand of God. Lets live eternity starting now.
So all of that to say that I had a very American day. We took the last two days off because I have been sick again and we truly haven't had days of rest while we have been here. So today we went to this shopping center and shopped a little and went to see a movie. I had a latte, ate a hot dog, popcorn, and a snickers, and we saw Ocean’s 13. So it was a fun day and yesterday, we took it pretty easy and rested at the guest house most of the day. I am so anxious to get home because I want to begin to pray and sift through where the Lord wants me. I am just to the point that I have really done what I can do here and I have learned things that I want to start living out. So please pray that I am patient this next week and really am open to what the Lord has in store. I also am so antsy to see the rest of Africa. I have heard so much about other places and want to see and study how these people live. Thanks so much for your love and prayers.
Peace and love.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
pictures
i have uploaded some photos to my yahoo account. the address is http://photos.yahoo.com/freediversity. I will try to upload more, but it takes a while to do so.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
joel is back!
I had to title this post in honor of our driver, Joel, who was gone from us for a while. His brother in-law passed away and he had to go take care of all the details. Deaths in the family are alot more complicated in Africa. Our fill in driver was great and called us his queens and all (I just decided not to think anything of it), but we just love Joel! When we got the phone call that he was coming back, it was like we were going to meet our favorite boy band or something. Needless to say, it is great to have him back!
Today, we visited a wonderful new place. It is called New Life Home. It is a home for abandoned babies. While most of them are HIV positive, they do accept HIV negative babies also. The coolest thing is that when they receive them they put them on a nutritional/medical diet and around 90% of the HIV positive babies turn out to be negative! It is just a wondeful place where these babies can receive the love and care that every newborn needs. It is also Christ centered, so these babies are learning that Jesus loves them! They keep all the babies together, no matter if they are positive or negative, and volunteers do not know their status as well. So as I got there, one of them latched on to me. He was quite the character. They were all so full of joy and wonderful fussy babies. We played outside with them for quite a while and then we went in and got to feed them. That was quite an experience. The little boy I fed apparently just loves to eat. So when we was through with his food and juice, he just screamed bloody murder. Then after they gave him more juice, as soon as he finished the last drop, there came the screaming again. It was actually quite amusing. Then after changing time, I was handed a full little baby girl. Well maybe a little too full because she decided to vomit all over my legs. It really didn't bother me because it definately wasn't the first time it has happened to me. I just laughed it off. It is amazing the full time dedication the staff and nurses at the place have. They give so much so these babies receive the nurture they need at an early age. We are hoping to go back one more time before we leave.
On Sunday, we ate lunch at Tony's house. He runs the center that we are working at. It was such a good conversation. He has such a vision and love for the BCC and the surrounding village and slum. It was also eye opening to talk to someone educated like himself about America and what the Africans believe. Africans are such trusting people. If you tell them something, almost 100% of the time they will believe it. Unfortunately, people have come to Africa, and even the governments of Africa, and take advantage of that and lead these people into lies. Tony began to tells us about this man who came and told them about a seminar he could do for a good price. It was about investing in the U.S. stock market. He claimed that money does grow on tree because American dollars grow on trees. It was obvious that this was a huge gimic to rip Tony off, but Tony didn't see that. That is only one example of many.
Also, Joel took us to the place today where you can view Kibera, the largest slum in the world. It was breath-taking, and not in an exactly good way. I took pictures, but they don't do justice to seeing it in person. It is just rows and rows and rows and rows of metal and scraps and dirt (in the air, you can't see the ground), and trash. Here is the shocker that not many people realize. People pay rent to live in the slums. It is like the suburbs of Africa. It is really hard to wrap your mind around.
well, I feel like I have so much more to tell but that will be all for now. I am probably missing you if you are reading this, so much much love from Nairobi!
peace and love.
Today, we visited a wonderful new place. It is called New Life Home. It is a home for abandoned babies. While most of them are HIV positive, they do accept HIV negative babies also. The coolest thing is that when they receive them they put them on a nutritional/medical diet and around 90% of the HIV positive babies turn out to be negative! It is just a wondeful place where these babies can receive the love and care that every newborn needs. It is also Christ centered, so these babies are learning that Jesus loves them! They keep all the babies together, no matter if they are positive or negative, and volunteers do not know their status as well. So as I got there, one of them latched on to me. He was quite the character. They were all so full of joy and wonderful fussy babies. We played outside with them for quite a while and then we went in and got to feed them. That was quite an experience. The little boy I fed apparently just loves to eat. So when we was through with his food and juice, he just screamed bloody murder. Then after they gave him more juice, as soon as he finished the last drop, there came the screaming again. It was actually quite amusing. Then after changing time, I was handed a full little baby girl. Well maybe a little too full because she decided to vomit all over my legs. It really didn't bother me because it definately wasn't the first time it has happened to me. I just laughed it off. It is amazing the full time dedication the staff and nurses at the place have. They give so much so these babies receive the nurture they need at an early age. We are hoping to go back one more time before we leave.
On Sunday, we ate lunch at Tony's house. He runs the center that we are working at. It was such a good conversation. He has such a vision and love for the BCC and the surrounding village and slum. It was also eye opening to talk to someone educated like himself about America and what the Africans believe. Africans are such trusting people. If you tell them something, almost 100% of the time they will believe it. Unfortunately, people have come to Africa, and even the governments of Africa, and take advantage of that and lead these people into lies. Tony began to tells us about this man who came and told them about a seminar he could do for a good price. It was about investing in the U.S. stock market. He claimed that money does grow on tree because American dollars grow on trees. It was obvious that this was a huge gimic to rip Tony off, but Tony didn't see that. That is only one example of many.
Also, Joel took us to the place today where you can view Kibera, the largest slum in the world. It was breath-taking, and not in an exactly good way. I took pictures, but they don't do justice to seeing it in person. It is just rows and rows and rows and rows of metal and scraps and dirt (in the air, you can't see the ground), and trash. Here is the shocker that not many people realize. People pay rent to live in the slums. It is like the suburbs of Africa. It is really hard to wrap your mind around.
well, I feel like I have so much more to tell but that will be all for now. I am probably missing you if you are reading this, so much much love from Nairobi!
peace and love.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
haaaasavenyaaaa
haha the title of the post is supposed to be the beginning of the lion king theme song. I could not help but play that in my head while I was on the safari. The safari was so much fun and such a good break. Africa is so beautiful! It is a mixture of green and brown, mountains and flatlands, trees and bush. You can look way across the land and spot a tree miles and miles away and it looks like it is so close to you. When I got to the safari, I was like this is the Africa I fell in love with. We had the coolest jeeps that had 4-wheel drive, which is a must if you want to do some of the major off roading. While on the safaris, our driver would all of a sudden take off so fast and we would get so excited because we knew we were going to see something good. All the drivers had radios and call each other when they spot something.
Here are some of the things we saw:
1. A leapord in a tree. Our driver said that it is so rare to see this.
2. Elephants really really close
3. A den of lioness' sleeping. We fish tailed the whole way down this really muddy path to get to them. It was so much fun and well worth it.
4. giraffes
5. cheetahs really close
6. an ostrich
7. a huge heard of water buffalo
8. zebras
9. and much more
we were not able to see the hippos or rhinos because it had rained and the path was too wet to get to the river. After our safari, we were able to visit the masaai village for just a short while. This was soooo fascinating. I believe one of the reason the Lord has brought me here is to develop my interest in tribalism. It is so huge here and I really want to study it in depth. I believe we must understand tribalism to understand Africa. And if you think about it, it was a huge deal in biblical times as well.
one other crazy thing happened this week. Yesterday as I was coming upstairs, I heard my name called. Sitting on the couch was one of the Invisible Children roadies who came through Nashville. It totally shocked me. He has been in Sudan and he is at the end of his trip. We talked alot about Africa and how it is hard to be here. It is so true. To be called here full time is a huge calling. You get here and want to go home. We both feel that way, but you really don't want to admit it. So I still believe that I am called to this place, I just do not know in what capacity yet.
We have changed up the schedule a little bit for the last two weeks because the internship has not been what we thought. The Lord has still be so faithful and worked despite human error, but needless to say, we have had several frustrations with the organization we are with. The people here in Africa are wonderful. It is the organization back home that is frustrating. So please pray as we work out what we need to discuss when we get back and how we can truly help these people here. I am half way there and nearly ready.
peace and love.
Here are some of the things we saw:
1. A leapord in a tree. Our driver said that it is so rare to see this.
2. Elephants really really close
3. A den of lioness' sleeping. We fish tailed the whole way down this really muddy path to get to them. It was so much fun and well worth it.
4. giraffes
5. cheetahs really close
6. an ostrich
7. a huge heard of water buffalo
8. zebras
9. and much more
we were not able to see the hippos or rhinos because it had rained and the path was too wet to get to the river. After our safari, we were able to visit the masaai village for just a short while. This was soooo fascinating. I believe one of the reason the Lord has brought me here is to develop my interest in tribalism. It is so huge here and I really want to study it in depth. I believe we must understand tribalism to understand Africa. And if you think about it, it was a huge deal in biblical times as well.
one other crazy thing happened this week. Yesterday as I was coming upstairs, I heard my name called. Sitting on the couch was one of the Invisible Children roadies who came through Nashville. It totally shocked me. He has been in Sudan and he is at the end of his trip. We talked alot about Africa and how it is hard to be here. It is so true. To be called here full time is a huge calling. You get here and want to go home. We both feel that way, but you really don't want to admit it. So I still believe that I am called to this place, I just do not know in what capacity yet.
We have changed up the schedule a little bit for the last two weeks because the internship has not been what we thought. The Lord has still be so faithful and worked despite human error, but needless to say, we have had several frustrations with the organization we are with. The people here in Africa are wonderful. It is the organization back home that is frustrating. So please pray as we work out what we need to discuss when we get back and how we can truly help these people here. I am half way there and nearly ready.
peace and love.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
raffiki
I did not know what to title the post so raffiki means friend in swahili. well my time here has been totally different than i expected. I can honestly say at times I am ready to go home. Not because I am super homesick or I am miserable here, but because I have seen so much need and potential and crazy stuff that I am trying to process what I am supposed to do as a follower of Christ. Not as an American, not as a "I hate America" person, not as a young idealists, but through the mind of Christ.
It is so much. I wish I could express it all in words. Life here is so different. I continually find myself trying to shead my "Americanism" and then realizing that part of that is so taken for granted. Imagine life where no one asks you about your hopes and dreams or pushes you to be your best. There is a cultural tribalism here that I would really love to study in depth. Somehow so much of this cultural seems to go back to this group mentality of their tribe. I do not know what to say what is good/bad or right/wrong yet, it is just very interesting. It seems like so much is kept from them. Has no one told them that you wash your hands and drink water seperate from the water for the sewage? Has no one told them that learning is more than just memorization? Has no one told them that they have the potential to value life and have a purpose?
I just got to the point yesterday where I was overwhelmed by it all. This boy had a big bruise and open scab on the side of his mouth and was just moping around and crying. The other kids tried to comfort him, but I just finally picked him up. He just wanted someone to hold him. Then I saw other kids falling or being pushed and crying about nothing. I was just overwhelmed because all these kids want is love and attention. Not from the other kids and not in a conceited way, but just love from someone. There is a this group mentality here that so contricts everything I grew up around. Individuality is so important in America. I find myself in tension with these two cultures because I see value in both. Then I step back and ask myself how Christ would view all of this.
Well that is where I am left at the moment. Although the trip definately has been rough at times, rougher than I expected, it has also been so rewarding and fun. I have been working in the kitchen some lately at the center and it is fun to be there with the two cooks. I have also enjoyed being with the kids and spending time with the sewing girls. Tomorrow we leave for the safari which is much needed for all of us. After we get back, we will still spend time at the center/orphanage, but the Lord has also opened up some new opportunities. We will go to the school at the Korogocho slum one day and then an AIDS home for infants another day. God has tugged all our hearts to a certain place at the korogocho school so we are excited about that. I am going to spend some time with the girls in the hair/beauty school and let them do my hair. We continue to meet so many other missionary types here who are such an encouragement to us. We watched a movie in a lady's room last night who is here on a break from sudan. we met a photojournalist tonight who has traveled around sudan and east africa and has amazing photography. so despite to the hard things we are trying to swallow, the Lord has provided encouragement for us.
one other observation that keeps coming to me is that I cannot help but think that I am experiencing the aftermath of western christianity coming to africa and then leaving it to perish. The city life is definately in Nairobi, but these people still live savage lives. Also, after talking to people about Christianity here, alot of it is confused with tribalism and things. I feel like discipleship and relationship got left out of the picture. But God is still at work here. We have met so many people who continue to encourage and inspire us with the work they do here and I am really excited about the rest of the trip. I guess where I am left now is that I feel like with the amount of time I have, there is no room for me to really invest somewhere. With Africa, when you say "just go love the people/children", I am starting to see that means years of work. That is just who they are, and who they are is so amazing and unique. So despite all the un-American things I have seen, my prayer now is to sift through what it looks like to follow Christ in Africa.
So I do not know if what I just said makes any sense, but please know that I am well and so excited about the rest of the trip (and excited about coming home). I will most likely write again when we get back from the safari.
peace and love.
It is so much. I wish I could express it all in words. Life here is so different. I continually find myself trying to shead my "Americanism" and then realizing that part of that is so taken for granted. Imagine life where no one asks you about your hopes and dreams or pushes you to be your best. There is a cultural tribalism here that I would really love to study in depth. Somehow so much of this cultural seems to go back to this group mentality of their tribe. I do not know what to say what is good/bad or right/wrong yet, it is just very interesting. It seems like so much is kept from them. Has no one told them that you wash your hands and drink water seperate from the water for the sewage? Has no one told them that learning is more than just memorization? Has no one told them that they have the potential to value life and have a purpose?
I just got to the point yesterday where I was overwhelmed by it all. This boy had a big bruise and open scab on the side of his mouth and was just moping around and crying. The other kids tried to comfort him, but I just finally picked him up. He just wanted someone to hold him. Then I saw other kids falling or being pushed and crying about nothing. I was just overwhelmed because all these kids want is love and attention. Not from the other kids and not in a conceited way, but just love from someone. There is a this group mentality here that so contricts everything I grew up around. Individuality is so important in America. I find myself in tension with these two cultures because I see value in both. Then I step back and ask myself how Christ would view all of this.
Well that is where I am left at the moment. Although the trip definately has been rough at times, rougher than I expected, it has also been so rewarding and fun. I have been working in the kitchen some lately at the center and it is fun to be there with the two cooks. I have also enjoyed being with the kids and spending time with the sewing girls. Tomorrow we leave for the safari which is much needed for all of us. After we get back, we will still spend time at the center/orphanage, but the Lord has also opened up some new opportunities. We will go to the school at the Korogocho slum one day and then an AIDS home for infants another day. God has tugged all our hearts to a certain place at the korogocho school so we are excited about that. I am going to spend some time with the girls in the hair/beauty school and let them do my hair. We continue to meet so many other missionary types here who are such an encouragement to us. We watched a movie in a lady's room last night who is here on a break from sudan. we met a photojournalist tonight who has traveled around sudan and east africa and has amazing photography. so despite to the hard things we are trying to swallow, the Lord has provided encouragement for us.
one other observation that keeps coming to me is that I cannot help but think that I am experiencing the aftermath of western christianity coming to africa and then leaving it to perish. The city life is definately in Nairobi, but these people still live savage lives. Also, after talking to people about Christianity here, alot of it is confused with tribalism and things. I feel like discipleship and relationship got left out of the picture. But God is still at work here. We have met so many people who continue to encourage and inspire us with the work they do here and I am really excited about the rest of the trip. I guess where I am left now is that I feel like with the amount of time I have, there is no room for me to really invest somewhere. With Africa, when you say "just go love the people/children", I am starting to see that means years of work. That is just who they are, and who they are is so amazing and unique. So despite all the un-American things I have seen, my prayer now is to sift through what it looks like to follow Christ in Africa.
So I do not know if what I just said makes any sense, but please know that I am well and so excited about the rest of the trip (and excited about coming home). I will most likely write again when we get back from the safari.
peace and love.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
good day
thank you for your prayers! i am feeling much better. still a bit stuffy and congested, but much better. my sinus was killing me this morning before church, but i said no satan! you will not let me have a bad day. so i went and it eased as the day went on. church was good today. these people worship with such passion. after church we took tony, the man who is the pastor of the church and runs bcc now, and his family out to lunch. he has the most adorable 10 month old girl. she sat in my lap on the way to lunch and feel fast asleep. it was great. and then she opened up and had quite the personality. he and his wife have a house on the same property as the orphanage and next week we will each lunch with them in their home. it was so good to be with them today.
i can't believe it has only been a week. it seems much longer. but at the same time it doesn't. this week we go on the safari which should be fun. i am also excited to spend some more time with the girls in the sewing class the next few days. again, thank you for your prayers and encouragement. i do not know if i will be able to get pictures up while i am here. we have not been able to so far. we will keep trying.
peace and love.
i can't believe it has only been a week. it seems much longer. but at the same time it doesn't. this week we go on the safari which should be fun. i am also excited to spend some more time with the girls in the sewing class the next few days. again, thank you for your prayers and encouragement. i do not know if i will be able to get pictures up while i am here. we have not been able to so far. we will keep trying.
peace and love.
Saturday, June 9, 2007
and so it goes...
well, unfortunately, i have become somewhat sick. breathing in all the nasty air and dirt has really aggrevated my sinus an allegeries so i am super congested right now. i stayed behind today and did not go to the center which is no fun. it was our first day that we get to spend all day with the orphans because they are not in school. i know it all happens for a reason and i want to get better. so i please ask for your prayers for my health and the heath of my teammates. we are all tired and fatigued and satan is definately using that to try to get us down.
the past few days have been good and exhausting. being in africa is a big adjustment. more than i think we realize. i have spent sometime with the children in the school which has been fun. different than i expected, but still good to be there. yesterday was our first day off, but it really did not end up being a day off. we went to one of the slums with a group traveling through to see another school that buckner supports. that was definately heavy to see. one thing that got me was a small boy was among other kids from the slums looking through the gate into the school. he was brave enough to run a little ways into the school area and he grabbed my hand. so i slowly walked him back to the door. it is so hard to resist to be with those kids outside of the school because there is just so much need. after the slum, we went to the masaai market at the village market. both my teammates got a little overwhelmed with the bargaining, but i kind of enjoyed it. my strategy was to say a price and stick with it. one man followed me around the market and insisted that i buy this one thing. it was definately a humorous and interesting experience.
one thing that has been shocking to us is the stigma here about america. even the kids are taught so they can get to america. there is a mindset that if we can just get to america, all our problems would be gone. please pray that we can encourage these people that God has them in africa for a reason, and that america is not what they think it is. they were shocked when we told me that poor, homeless people live in america.
well i guess that is all for now. thank you for your prayers and support. peace and love
p.s. dad, victor from world connex says hello. he is here on another vision trip and his group will be on the safari with us next week.
the past few days have been good and exhausting. being in africa is a big adjustment. more than i think we realize. i have spent sometime with the children in the school which has been fun. different than i expected, but still good to be there. yesterday was our first day off, but it really did not end up being a day off. we went to one of the slums with a group traveling through to see another school that buckner supports. that was definately heavy to see. one thing that got me was a small boy was among other kids from the slums looking through the gate into the school. he was brave enough to run a little ways into the school area and he grabbed my hand. so i slowly walked him back to the door. it is so hard to resist to be with those kids outside of the school because there is just so much need. after the slum, we went to the masaai market at the village market. both my teammates got a little overwhelmed with the bargaining, but i kind of enjoyed it. my strategy was to say a price and stick with it. one man followed me around the market and insisted that i buy this one thing. it was definately a humorous and interesting experience.
one thing that has been shocking to us is the stigma here about america. even the kids are taught so they can get to america. there is a mindset that if we can just get to america, all our problems would be gone. please pray that we can encourage these people that God has them in africa for a reason, and that america is not what they think it is. they were shocked when we told me that poor, homeless people live in america.
well i guess that is all for now. thank you for your prayers and support. peace and love
p.s. dad, victor from world connex says hello. he is here on another vision trip and his group will be on the safari with us next week.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
change of pace
i did not expect to run into so many emotions right at the beginning. there is one thing for sure. when you come to africa, you will be humbled. not because of the poverty and situation, but because of the faith of the people. we are no where near understanding who God is like the people do here. i have come across so many people who have blown my little bitty trip out of the water.
first, the place we are staying is a place for missionaries to come and take a break basically. we have met some of the most amazing people. we usually eat breakfast and lunch here every day and the meals are at a certain time. you join with people at tables, so it is like a big family. i came to africa thinking what i was doing was more than just a "short term mission" or a pointless little trip that makes you feel good about yourself. before we knew it, we were talking to a girl my age who has been living in the slums for 9 months and has amazing stories. we then met a girl who worked in southern sudan for about a year. then, best of all, we met the most kind-spirited older woman yesterday. she has been living in africa for 34 years! and she highly recommends it. after her parents died, people began to give her money to go to africa and she did not think that being there (or here rather) would last longer. she has been here ever since she came. we also met another woman who has been working in southern sudan. just amazing.
second, yesterday was our first full day at the orphanage. we focused our time in the tech center where girls are learning to sew with peddle machines. they are girls around my age who did not make into secondary school or cannot go to secondary school. some are mothers. all but one come in from the slum surrounding the orphanage and they are amazing. at first they were shy, but then they asked me to play soccer and handball with them on their break. it was so much fun. then after we came in, the immediately brought me to their station and taught me how to sew. it was amazing. i made two different skirts in a cm instead of inches. the community here is amazing. the love each other with everything. at the end of the day the girls proceed to clean like i have never seen before. they are such good stewards of what they have been given. they worked together so well. after the clean, the sing a few praises and pray. it just blows me away. everything is so christ centered. they need God desperately.
the love the workers at the orphanage have for these children is amazing. they give up so much to show love to these children. we have no idea how to love like these people. they are the ones who need to be teaching us. i never expected to come to africa and be the one who is being served, but that is truly the case. our driver is this amazing africa man who is so generous and kind. he takes on different routes all the time to show us the different parts of africa. and by the way, mom, your greatest challenge in coming to this place would be riding in the car. i am pretty sure you would have to wear a blindfold. the staff here where we are staying are all africans and they serve us every meal. i was taught to sew yesterday by amazing girls. really, how did i ever deserve this?
i am still trying to process what i see everyday. going from the orphanage to the slums to the city can be overwhelming at times. there is just so much going on and such poverty. they hard thing is that this is normal for them. i see these tiny shacks and trash and children, but this is all normal for them. it is life. part of that does not need to be changed. my prayer now is how can i even help this place? this is all they know. well there are so many other things to share, but i believe this is all for now. i will write again soon.
peace and love.
first, the place we are staying is a place for missionaries to come and take a break basically. we have met some of the most amazing people. we usually eat breakfast and lunch here every day and the meals are at a certain time. you join with people at tables, so it is like a big family. i came to africa thinking what i was doing was more than just a "short term mission" or a pointless little trip that makes you feel good about yourself. before we knew it, we were talking to a girl my age who has been living in the slums for 9 months and has amazing stories. we then met a girl who worked in southern sudan for about a year. then, best of all, we met the most kind-spirited older woman yesterday. she has been living in africa for 34 years! and she highly recommends it. after her parents died, people began to give her money to go to africa and she did not think that being there (or here rather) would last longer. she has been here ever since she came. we also met another woman who has been working in southern sudan. just amazing.
second, yesterday was our first full day at the orphanage. we focused our time in the tech center where girls are learning to sew with peddle machines. they are girls around my age who did not make into secondary school or cannot go to secondary school. some are mothers. all but one come in from the slum surrounding the orphanage and they are amazing. at first they were shy, but then they asked me to play soccer and handball with them on their break. it was so much fun. then after we came in, the immediately brought me to their station and taught me how to sew. it was amazing. i made two different skirts in a cm instead of inches. the community here is amazing. the love each other with everything. at the end of the day the girls proceed to clean like i have never seen before. they are such good stewards of what they have been given. they worked together so well. after the clean, the sing a few praises and pray. it just blows me away. everything is so christ centered. they need God desperately.
the love the workers at the orphanage have for these children is amazing. they give up so much to show love to these children. we have no idea how to love like these people. they are the ones who need to be teaching us. i never expected to come to africa and be the one who is being served, but that is truly the case. our driver is this amazing africa man who is so generous and kind. he takes on different routes all the time to show us the different parts of africa. and by the way, mom, your greatest challenge in coming to this place would be riding in the car. i am pretty sure you would have to wear a blindfold. the staff here where we are staying are all africans and they serve us every meal. i was taught to sew yesterday by amazing girls. really, how did i ever deserve this?
i am still trying to process what i see everyday. going from the orphanage to the slums to the city can be overwhelming at times. there is just so much going on and such poverty. they hard thing is that this is normal for them. i see these tiny shacks and trash and children, but this is all normal for them. it is life. part of that does not need to be changed. my prayer now is how can i even help this place? this is all they know. well there are so many other things to share, but i believe this is all for now. i will write again soon.
peace and love.
Sunday, June 3, 2007
babump...babump...babump
I'm in Africa!!
we made it safely last night. The Lord really blessed us with smooth and enjoyable travel. I set next to a wee little Scottish man on the ride for london to nairobi. he was quite the character and had quite a bit of alcohol. did you know that bristish airways gives you free alcohol?! this man used that service for sure. he was going to drill for oil in uganda. not exactly doing much good for uganda, but he did keep me entertained. the whole africa thing did not really hit last night because it was dark and i couldn't really see anything. today we went church at the orphanage center and it was quite a treat! on the way there is when the whole africa thing hit. i don't really want to say much about it now because i am still trying to process everything that i have seen. here are a few observations: africans make intense eye contact...a good kind of intense, i heard justin timberlake in the place i ate lunch at today...quite unexpected, a golf course, pot holes make driving alot more exciting, an old african woman introduced herself at church today my giving me a great hug....and lets just say that africans should be teaching us the bible...period.
the place we are staying is very nice. all muzungus (white hommies). we have showers and sleep under mesquito nets. there is a computer here so i will be able to write on the blog alot. we will have much free time at night because it is too dangerous to be out after dark (although the crazy take risks spirit inside of me wants to...but it won't happen). my teammates are great and we all bring a certain spark to the team. i am so excited about the next month. i played soccer with some of the boys after church and that was quite fun. one boy just told me what to do. "you, go to that goal!" "sorry, wipe you face" (this was after the ball hit me in the face...haha.) and he constantly reminded me that "you-zero, me-three" because he was winnning.
i love it here already. i find myself wanting to be african because i just want to roam the streets and talk to these people. everyone i see, i want to stop and know their story. they are just genuine people and what i see is normal for them. well this is all for now. i will write again after we have spent some more time with the children.
peace and love
p.s. the title of the blog was for you sarah...you think the crazy three speed bumps at belmont were interesting...you would be saying babump quite a bit here
we made it safely last night. The Lord really blessed us with smooth and enjoyable travel. I set next to a wee little Scottish man on the ride for london to nairobi. he was quite the character and had quite a bit of alcohol. did you know that bristish airways gives you free alcohol?! this man used that service for sure. he was going to drill for oil in uganda. not exactly doing much good for uganda, but he did keep me entertained. the whole africa thing did not really hit last night because it was dark and i couldn't really see anything. today we went church at the orphanage center and it was quite a treat! on the way there is when the whole africa thing hit. i don't really want to say much about it now because i am still trying to process everything that i have seen. here are a few observations: africans make intense eye contact...a good kind of intense, i heard justin timberlake in the place i ate lunch at today...quite unexpected, a golf course, pot holes make driving alot more exciting, an old african woman introduced herself at church today my giving me a great hug....and lets just say that africans should be teaching us the bible...period.
the place we are staying is very nice. all muzungus (white hommies). we have showers and sleep under mesquito nets. there is a computer here so i will be able to write on the blog alot. we will have much free time at night because it is too dangerous to be out after dark (although the crazy take risks spirit inside of me wants to...but it won't happen). my teammates are great and we all bring a certain spark to the team. i am so excited about the next month. i played soccer with some of the boys after church and that was quite fun. one boy just told me what to do. "you, go to that goal!" "sorry, wipe you face" (this was after the ball hit me in the face...haha.) and he constantly reminded me that "you-zero, me-three" because he was winnning.
i love it here already. i find myself wanting to be african because i just want to roam the streets and talk to these people. everyone i see, i want to stop and know their story. they are just genuine people and what i see is normal for them. well this is all for now. i will write again after we have spent some more time with the children.
peace and love
p.s. the title of the blog was for you sarah...you think the crazy three speed bumps at belmont were interesting...you would be saying babump quite a bit here
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